Well, the message on our answering machine today topped them all.
"Hello, this is Diane calling on behalf of Direct TV. From time to time, we extend exciting offers to our loyal customers like you. But because you're on the Direct TV Do Not Call List, we are not able to contact you for these exciting offers. The reason I'm calling you today is to give you an opportunity to change your selection. If you allow us to remove you from the Direct TV Do Not Call List, please be assured that we will not share your information with anyone else. Please call 1 877 xxx xxxx to remove your account from the DTV Do Not Call List. You will then be eligible to receive exciting offers in the future. If you prefer to remain on Direct TV's Do Not Call List, we completely respect your decision, and your privacy, and no action is required. Thank you for being a loyal Direct TV customer."
Well Diane, I have one question for you. Which part of Do Not Call was unclear to you? Truly, I respect the fact that you respect my privacy. I really do. I never realized that my decision to be put on the Do Not Call list would cause me to miss out on your fabulous offers. How could I have been so dumb?
Interestingly, in 2005 Direct TV was forced to pay out $5.3 million to people who received telemarketing calls in spite of being on the Do Not Call Registry. Apparently Direct TV is slipping through a legal loophole in my case, since companies who have an "established business relationship" with someone are allowed to make these kinds of calls until/unless the recipient explicitly asks them not to (this is an additional step required after being on the national Do Not Call list). Diane, I have some exciting news for you! I'll be calling you back very soon.